Exit Stage Right

When I was a saloon singer in New York, among the best pieces of advice I received were as follows: "Know your keys, hit your marks and know when to get off the stage." (It also helped if you could sing a little.)

In theater, the term "exit stage left" means that a character leaves a scene quietly, without a lot of noise. Naturally, we'll be exiting stage right -- we're iconoclasts. We've been leaving for, like, weeks. 

As of last week, The Parkville Luminary ceased publication after nearly eight years of continuous publication. The business decision was easy to make, but not for the reasons you're probably thinking. Creatively, journalistically (is that even a word?), and from a community service standpoint it was pretty hard to let go.

Our associate publisher Gia McFarlane and I agreed to shut the paper down this past September. We had outlined a comprehensive plan to move our media brand forward. It was a stunning plan, all laid out there on a table at Piropos, her and I looking down upon it like the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces and Gia McFarlane. Then we looked at each other and asked, "do we really want to do any of this?" 

That was nearly 80 days ago. I could have gone around the world in that time.Instead, I went to Indiana. (That's another story.) Anyway the answer was no. I had wanted to close the paper after our fifth year, and all I did was complain about the all-nighters. I tried to form an alliance with a Platte City paper but nobody from either staff seemed to get it. It was time to do something else.

Yet, there we were in racks the next week as "The Luminary Lite." This was due to a sudden interest from a regional publisher. In order for the newspaper to remain "legal" in the postal sense, we needed to keep hitting the press or there could be no deal with that publisher. Last week, the talks fell through.

Stabbing at Ferrelview

From the Sheriff:

On December 26, at approximately 3:34 a.m. Platte County Sheriff’s deputies responded with Ferrelview Police Department to the Unicorn Apartments at 12208 ½ NW Heady Ave. Ferrelview, MO in reference to a stabbing.  Brittany A. Costello, 21 year old w/f, is being treated at an area hospital.  Sheriff’s investigators are speaking with a person of interest in this case.

Goodbye, Parkville Luminary (No Flowers, Please)

NOTE: The following is the "obituary" I wrote in the last edition of my hometown newspaper, The Parkville Luminary, which was one of the best weekly newspapers anywhere. Thanks, editor/publisher Mark Vasto, for giving me, and peace journalism, a voice.


NO FLOWERS, PLEASE
By Steven Youngblood
Luminary Columnist Emeritus


There’s nothing I hate worse than our society’s death rituals, which run the gamut from maudlin to nearly barbaric.


I, for one, refuse to walk past an open casket to see the dead guy. I’d prefer to remember the live person, thankyouverymuch, even though everyone at a funeral always comments on how good the corpse looks. In fact, my aunt and I have a macabre pact. Whoever goes first, the survivor is required to march past the stiff and then pronounce, very loudly, “man, he looks like sh&*.” 


I also hate the custom of wasting hundreds (thousands?) of dollars on flowers. Although I like flowers as much as the next guy, I do not want them when I am dead, since I will not be able to enjoy them as much. If you’d like to send me flowers now, I’ll gladly accept them (Park University, Copley Hall, room 210). However, if you waste one cent on flowers for me when I’m vertically challenged, I’ll haunt you.


Overall, our death rituals make a bad situation worse. Keeping this in mind, I will neither send flowers nor stroll past the casket as we say goodbye to our good friend The Parkville Luminary this week. Instead, in the spirit of a good Irish wake, I’d prefer to remember the good times.

Everything Big Starts Small

By Sarah Handelman

Luminary Reporter Emeritus

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Ida Lake. 

If you don’t know who she is, you’ve probably seen her anyway. She’s been working the Parkville farmer’s market for decades. Six years ago, when I graduated high school, Ida was the first subject I interviewed as a “practicing” journalist. Ida was amiable and patient. In our hour-long interview at her market stall, she bequeathed years of her stories — each one like the perfectly ripe, juicy fruit around us. As I scribbled her every word into my pocket-sized reporter’s notebook, I remember thinking, “Hey, this is kind of fun.”

The interview ended. We exchanged goodbyes. Happily, I drove up Crooked Road, giving myself a pat-on-the-back for reporting well done. I could practically see my name in print. My first story in the Parkville Luminary.

December 21-25 Police Report

Parkville resident benefits as St. Luke's performs their first liver transplant

Charles Jones, 54, has a lot to be grateful for this holiday season.

Jones, who was diagnosed with hepatitis C, cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer, received a liver transplant at Saint Luke’s Hospital on Nov. 19. He’d struggled with debilitating fatigue since his diagnosis, and took medical leave from his job at the GM plant in January.

In August the Parkville, Mo., resident was put on the transplant list. He’s the first patient to undergo liver transplantation at Saint Luke’s since the hospital launched its program earlier this year.

After a 4.5-hour surgery, Jones spent just six days in the hospital. He’s a little sore, but feels like he’s been given a new lease on life. He’s slowly building his strength.

“Before the transplant, all I wanted to do was sleep all the time. I was confused - now my mind is clear. I feel a lot better than I did. Things are looking up. I’m getting my life back.”

Jones should be able to return to work in 6 months or so, according to his medical team. He doesn’t know who his liver donor is, but he’s grateful for the second chance. “I’m very appreciative to the donor family. They saved my life.”

The Parkville Christmas Special, Vol. 1

Click here to donate please!

For more than 10 years, Gale Bay helped raise more than $500,000 for Parkville through her volunteer efforts, including an 8-year run as the Christmas on the River Chairperson. Gale was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and now, lung cancer. She does not have adequate insurance.

While a small token, a few Parkvillians recorded a few songs -- two of which are featured here -- for your Christmas enjoyment. Clicking the album cover above will take you to a website where you donate money via paypal. Anything you can spare helps keep the spirit bright. Thanks.

Brian Ruskin

Silent Night (right click and save the mp3 file)

Largely considered to be one of Kansas City's finest guitarists, Ruskin is a familiar face to anyone who frequents The Phoenix downtown, where he usually holds court with The Ruskin Quartet. Ruskin also hosts a weekly Open Mic on Tuesdays at Cafe Cedar. When we told Brian about the project, he graciously recorded this song in less than an hour as a donation. It's a truly beautiful rendition of the song. 

Learn more by visiting him on Facebook: Brian Ruskin. 

Carolyn Elwess

Christmas Carols (right click and save the mp3 file)

Most of you know Carolyn Elwess as the Park University archivist and the author of the "From the Fishburn Archives" series of features in The Parkville Luminary. Carolyn plays the fiddle, but I knew better than to ask. So I asked if she had any old recordings in the archives. She did one better. 

This is a recording we made of a song roll played on her vintage Duo-Art player piano. Originally played by Dion Kennedy, this roll features 1. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, 2. The First Noel, 3. God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen, 4. O, Little Town of Bethlehem. 

Click below to download the bonus track:

Parkville Police Report, Week of December 12, 2011

This week's report of major incidents occurring in the Parkville area, as reported by the Parkville Police Department. Exact addresses have been exchanged for the block of the reported incident for privacy and freedom of information reasons. All suspects, in each report, are innocent until proven guilty.  

Note:  The Luminary, nor do the Parkville Police

in this instance, report common traffic infractions.

Seasons Change

     In a press release, the Parkville Economic Development Corporation (PEDC) confirmed – mostly – what was reported by The Luminary in her last episode ( “Common Health,” Vol. 12, Ep. 8). But upon closer look, it's a bigger story, with a major development regarding Parkville's future that even The Luminary failed to turn into a major production.

      But it's a development worth taking a closer look at, because despite the small headline it garnered in the print edition, it is enormous news for Parkville's future.

"The Parkville Christmas Special" - A Benefit Album For Gale Bay

LATEST UPDATE: Many of the recorded songs will be thrown up here, and you can download them, but we ask for a donation to the cause. I regret to inform all that I was unable to learn an entire new industry in a few days, so we'll just go with the karma and build on it for next year. Now give me a chance to finish the cover art and figure out how to distribute these files online. Hang in there, Gale!

UPDATE: Ok, we have all the tracks we need (and then some) but the idea was to get this done by Christmas on the River -- which despite the quick notice -- could have been done. Wither way, we want to see this through (even though we could probably just give her the $50 bucks it'll make at happy hour somewhere) because it's the reason for the season and all that. More later (which is quickly becoming our newspaper's motto)...

Watch this space for an update to the article in this week's Luminary brand newspaper regarding the Parkville Christmas Special album...we're in weekend mode, so we're even wonkier than usual.
Thanks,
Mark Vasto
Publisher