Sunday, December 13, 2009
Bill Grigsby: Teeing Off on Tiger
The great one, Tiger Woods, was having a bit of trouble keeping his tee ball out of the rough this past week.
Now the head pro at the driving school has the same trouble keeping his caddie in the fairway what with a fire plug and a nasty ‘ol tree getting in the way. But why in the world would any one in their right mind come to the conclusion that alcohol did not come into play?
(And to the caddy who used a putter to knock the rear window into a million pieces? She used the wrong club! One of those big headed drivers would be the proper weapon. )
It’s hard to bring a Cadillac Escalade to its knees at three in the morning without breaking some of the rules of privacy.
You have to admire the daughter of a Swedish diplomat on the way she handled herself. I thought about using a five iron but then I remembered the great one telling me the putter was the right club when the grass is short.
I thought the attending officer made the right decision when he told the waiting world that Tiger would drop by the station and fill in the blanks. Actually, O.J. Simpson’s parade down the freeway made for better television – but after all who is up at three in the morning to watch? Tiger is probably the only living human being outside the guy who attempts to assassinate the president that would cause the interruption of a National Football League game.
Frankly, the whole Tiger Woods fire plug caper -- right up to the cancelled West Coast press conference – was a notice change from the Afghan build up and the health care drama in the Senate.
Whatever happened to the honeymooners with Art Carney and Jackie Gleason? Col. Klink with Hogan’s Heroes? Sid Caesar and his cronies? The kind of stuff that made us laugh? Well, I saw a lot of humor in the Woods line, “there was no alcohol involved.”
Try that on your favorite officer next time you run over a fire plug.
Read Bill Grigsby every week, only in your Parkville Luminary!
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